Whole Sweet Life

Beginnings

Posted on: October 11, 2011

So here I am, sitting at the computer, deciding that I really should try and start a blog. I have tried this a few times before and for some reason it didn’t stick, but this time it will be different because I will make it different. The same thoughts have been running through my head as of late

I am going to be 30 next year
I am still struggling with the weight issue I have had for most of my life
I don’t feel good most of the time
I have low energy and low motivation
I want to start a family in the (somewhat) near future
I know what types of changes I need to make to put myself in the right direction
I want to make a career out of being a Health Coach, but how do I do that if I can’t even figure it out for myself?

I know that what I need to is not 100% about nutrition, but I know that it is where my journey needs to begin. For the past few years I have read anything about nutrition that I could get my hands on and have gone through many changes in how I think about food – in 2007 I did a “medically supervised” diet at the hospital I was working at and lost about 40 pounds (since then I have been up and down but have gained about half of it back as of right now). This diet consisted of prepackaged meals (not even refrigerated/frozen, all shelf-stable, BLECH) and shakes with the addition of some fruits and veggies. After a while this became disgusting and I stopped and tried to finish it “on my own” but never got down to where I wanted to be weight-wise. After a while of this I was so grossed out by meat (likely due to the horrible packaged meat I had consumed on this program) that I became a vegetarian, then a vegan, then got into raw veganism, and then back to vegetarianism again. This lasted about 3 years. Then I started to feel awful, really really awful. I had no energy and I just felt horrible all the time (I have to be on my feet most of the day at work and talk to people, and I just couldn’t pull myself together). So, I decided to add some meat back in and immediately felt SO much better. Although I never went back to feeling as bad as I did as a vegetarian, my IBS symptoms remained active and I knew that I could still do more to feel better.

Then I stumbled upon some blogs and websites that were talking about this “Paleo” or “Primal” diet. Although some of the points these authors were trying to make sounded kinda crazy to me, and I still had some lingering fears about fat and animal foods, I figured why not just try, what else do I have to lose? I cut out grains and dairy and lost almost 10 pounds right away!! I was psyched and virtually all of my stomach issues went away, but somehow I drifted away, giving into peer pressure and still having issues trying to figure out how to cook meat again and questioning myself about how good eating like this could really be for me. That was about 7 months ago, and since then I have had weeks of Primal eating, then weeks where I had major sugar binges. During this time I decided maybe Atkins would be “easier” to make happen in the “real world,” but I know that I was just making excuses. The longest I made not having sugar/grains/legumes was probably 2 weeks, the scale would be going down and I would be excited, and then I would sabotage myself (this seems to be a theme).

So here I am starting anew. I think one of my biggest issues is feeling like I need to eat this way 100% of the time and be perfect, and if I “slip-up”, then it is all down the drain and I need to “start over”. If I happen to have something with store-bought mayo in it one day for lunch at work, all of my hard work is not down the drain. My plan is to adhere to these ideas as much as I possible can, and hope that after really sticking with it, I will WANT to make the good choices since I will actually FEEL the difference. There are a few things that I know I need to strictly adhere to or else it tend to lead me down a road where it is really hard to continue to make good choices. For me this is NO grains/legumes, and NO refined sugar. I have a serious sugar addiction and I am ready to kick it to the curb. I know that since I want to lose weight I should limit my fruit consumption – I think that during this transition time I will allow myself a serving or two of fruit a day (typically a lower GI fruit) with the intention of cutting that down if need be. I also am somewhat on the fence about dairy – I do think I need a trial of cutting it out and then reintroducing, and I plan on doing that at some point. My track record has been that cutting too many things out at once makes me feel like I am on a “diet,” and I know that’s not what this is. So, I am OK with some butter and limited high fat dairy for now until I can get over the hump, and then I will re-evaluate. I plan on avoiding vegetable oils, and buying grass-fed/organic meat as much as I possible can.

My plan for this blog is this – I know that I need a way to be accountable to myself, and putting my words, thoughts and hopes out there will hopefully serve to remind me of why I am doing this. It is so easy for me to forget the reasons why I want to make this change and I am so quick to revert back to old habits. I need to do this, and I need to do this now.

My other change is to not weigh myself. I tend to go overboard and start weighing myself every day and then I just get discouraged. Yes, I want to release weight since that will make me healthier, but this isn’t just about weight loss. This is about rediscovering who I am and choosing to live my life the way I want to live it. I even considered “not starting this week” (again) since I am going out of town to visit family later this week, but I now that there will always be another excuse not to start, and then another 7 months will pass me by. I am ready, and I am ready now, even if it means not being perfect all the time.

Here goes nothing (and everything)…

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